It all started in my teens. One fine day, I rejected a rose because I did not like the person who brought it and ever since roses seem angry with me. However I try, howmuchever hard I wish, a rose has never found its way back to me.
What girl does not love flowers and particularly roses! As strange as it may sound, I never ever had a rose day in my life. And yes, I have walked past my teenage ages ago, meaning I am way old for affairs and happily settled in a marriage. Never received a bouquet let alone a single rose. No occasion is big enough, not my birthday, or a Valentine's day or my wedding day or its anniversary! I do not deserve a rose. I have tried implying, when it did not work, asked directly, or otherwise, tried demanding roses for special days or celebrations. Well, apparently roses and me are like two banks of a river that never meet.
This absence of roses in my life, has made me grow fonder, in fact fondest to be appropriate, for this sweet smelly epitome of romance, which I can never have. The very fact that I never get a single rose when I have been actually anticipating it, makes it the more painful for me. Because I'd love to get it very much and at times, voiced this desire and not receiving it even after that cuts me deep inside.
Sometimes I tell myself, "Oh, Come on! its just a flower, I can go buy it in a flower shop or better still plant one at home. It is not even expensive". But then tears roll down my cheeks. My whole conscience vanishes into a black hole. I no longer remember that affection and compassion or dedication or any other similar abstract feelings of true love, do not lie on a simple flower. The most important thing is, the people in your life: your family, friends, spouse/lover love you. That's enough. You don't need any material thing to show you that they love and adore you. Words at the back of my head- but they are merely a jumble of letters running haywire. I can read the words but they make no sense.
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I cannot see anything, my tears have flooded my eyes, shutting down my lids. I don't remember the wise words or the quotes I memorized to save myself from drowning into the well of sorrow. I feel hurt, nothing else matters. This is such a harsh realization that you are unfit for something that you truly want. Its even more deep when that what you want is so easily available and comes easy for everyone but you and you don't understand why you cannot have it. You feel stupid and stubborn and childish for wanting it and yet nobody understands how it feels! So much for wanting a rose for gift!
What girl does not love flowers and particularly roses! As strange as it may sound, I never ever had a rose day in my life. And yes, I have walked past my teenage ages ago, meaning I am way old for affairs and happily settled in a marriage. Never received a bouquet let alone a single rose. No occasion is big enough, not my birthday, or a Valentine's day or my wedding day or its anniversary! I do not deserve a rose. I have tried implying, when it did not work, asked directly, or otherwise, tried demanding roses for special days or celebrations. Well, apparently roses and me are like two banks of a river that never meet.
This absence of roses in my life, has made me grow fonder, in fact fondest to be appropriate, for this sweet smelly epitome of romance, which I can never have. The very fact that I never get a single rose when I have been actually anticipating it, makes it the more painful for me. Because I'd love to get it very much and at times, voiced this desire and not receiving it even after that cuts me deep inside.
Sometimes I tell myself, "Oh, Come on! its just a flower, I can go buy it in a flower shop or better still plant one at home. It is not even expensive". But then tears roll down my cheeks. My whole conscience vanishes into a black hole. I no longer remember that affection and compassion or dedication or any other similar abstract feelings of true love, do not lie on a simple flower. The most important thing is, the people in your life: your family, friends, spouse/lover love you. That's enough. You don't need any material thing to show you that they love and adore you. Words at the back of my head- but they are merely a jumble of letters running haywire. I can read the words but they make no sense.
.jpg)
I cannot see anything, my tears have flooded my eyes, shutting down my lids. I don't remember the wise words or the quotes I memorized to save myself from drowning into the well of sorrow. I feel hurt, nothing else matters. This is such a harsh realization that you are unfit for something that you truly want. Its even more deep when that what you want is so easily available and comes easy for everyone but you and you don't understand why you cannot have it. You feel stupid and stubborn and childish for wanting it and yet nobody understands how it feels! So much for wanting a rose for gift!
